i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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