I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
