Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
