So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Randomize
