Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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