Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
