We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
babies were throwing up all over the place
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
