and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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