OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Boobs are out for the taking
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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