He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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