i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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