At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
