Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize