We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
