Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
