True but thats because hes a fetus.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
There are leaves in my underwear?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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