Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I still have a little drunk in my system
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
