i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I need a beard to bite.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
