we should wear snuggies to the strip club
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
