Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
