What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
