Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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