yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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