I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
