having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
