Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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