So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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