He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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