my mouth tastes like poor choices
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Randomize
