i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
