My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
