I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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