I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
