Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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