at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
