I'd wear matching sweaters with you
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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