3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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