bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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