I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.