i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
