Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
