her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
