look no pants
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
