I wanna bring you to show and tell
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
where are you?
Hypothermia
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Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
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The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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