Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
