Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
That accounts for only three of the penises
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
