You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
