On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
