roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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