forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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