I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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