i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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