hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
