honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
