8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
