thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
