He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
