I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Randomize
