remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
