I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
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