Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
