I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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