If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
