I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
My cat gives me a boner
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
