You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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