i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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