Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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