dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize